Tonight I walked outside in an apparent moment of clarity. I looked up at the clouds rolling by. There was a flash in the sky followed by a BOOM. I, in my state of wondering about this moment of clarity, unsure of why it was happening or which common philosophy to apply to it, be it God speaking to me or, me speaking to me, or the universe itself crying out in an attempt to catch my attention, I sat there staring at those clouds wondering if this like most things, was just another fluke that I was present for…. Then BOOM, another flash. This coinciding with this moment of clarity, or moment of contemplation, or universal connectivity seemed to be way too on time. On time with some of my recent thoughts and or contemplations. A mark in time that for some reason wants me to take notice of it. Or mark it in some way. The truth of the situation is, I have had a couple of cocktails followed by a walk outside in which I witnessed, for some reason, a transformer blow, which is commonly caused by the over stress of early summer put on our electrical network due to all of the air conditioner activity. Usually when a transformer is overpowered to the point of exhaustion it will pop, much like a breaker or fuse at our homes. This popping is usually followed by a cool down period, after which it will attempt to re-engage. If the draw is still to great , it will pop again. Usually followed by the automatic redirection through a different source to relieve the "overdraw". Something that is usually happening completely behind the scenes to us the unaware. Nevertheless I will use this as a springboard for some recent contemplations and or poetic ness that has been bouncing around in my over drawn circuitry. 

    As I was looking up at the clouds rolling by I wondered if this was not a metaphor for me waltzing through yet another stage of life yet unaware of all the goings on behind the scenes. We as regular people tend towards the strolling along , only aware of our immediate path. What affect us. What am I going to eat today. What am I going to accomplish today. Who must I interact with to make these things happen. When will I get to sleep again. It always takes a moment of disruption to make us pay attention to what is really going on. These moments of disruption give us the opportunity to contemplate what is, what could be, what should be. In my attempt to locate the elusive balance of the three, I must acknowledge some recent events. The most recent of which would be a small motorcycle trip I took from Port Aransas, Texas to Pasadena, Texas. According to Google it is a mere 231 miles. It was however on a motorcycle that I have been working on constantly over the last two years. I ride this bike as often as possible. In fact, over the last 10 months I have managed to put only 2213 miles on my cage (car). This was my first trip outside the realm of calling Andy (my cousin) to get a trailer and come find me for a rescue. I have been fine tuning the operation of this antiquated combustion contraption to the point that it has become relatively dependable mode of transportation. With each mile comes a new lesson. With each lesson comes a better mechanic and a better machine. I am one with this machine. This machine is also a metaphor for my life, if you haven’t figured that out yet. In the early moments of this bike I would ride down the road focusing on the sounds that it was making, wondering if I had done something wrong. On occasion something would fall off confirming that I had done something wrong. The short list of things that came off the bike includes the license plate, the intake manifold cover, the chain guard, the headlight, the battery cover, the gear shift lever, the brake lever, etc… The falling off of such items has subsided but the fear is still there. One must overcome the obvious noise of the straight pipes and the sounds of the passing road to hear something as subtle as the one and only very slight “TING” you must perceive to realize that and exhaust bolt has just vibrated it’s was loose and hit the passing asphalt at 75 miles and hour. You must focus in the midst of traffic violating, road raging, danger ignoring, not caring that you are inches from death, cage (car) drivers enough to know where along the road it happened, so you can circle back and locate the vintage horn cover that just fell off and hit the street. As in life we must be astute, we have to keep a close watch on life going by so we don’t miss the little things like the opportunities we have to spend time with our families or the subtle cues given off by people who want to connect with us. We can roll past these things without ever realizing they past. Like motorcycle parts if you miss it when it happens, you may never recover that special piece. 

    In keeping with this trane of thought…. I watch that white line of life unroll just like the miles beneath my wheel waiting to see what’s around the bend and wondering what I just missed. My hand is on the throttle focused on moving forward but my foot rests just above the brake ready to pull over if I missed someone. As the cloudiness moves back in on my clarity don’t let me pass you by. 

    I think I just threw up a little in the back of my throat so no more cocktails and no more staring up at the sky!